Watching As it Circles

by Chase Anderson

i’m only here because i’m expected to be. The last time isn’t reachable in memory; it could be four days, a week. Too long, too far, i can’t let someone say something, again. Dry shampoo only reeks artificial, draws attention to it. The rod creaks under Your weight. i undress as fast as possible, leave the clothes just outside the curtain, pre-warmed and safe. i step inside, all the way back, blast the water on, wait, check, step under. It’s nice–it’s always nice, and i always forget. The world flickers dark for a moment, a power blink that will be unnoticed by the microwave, the roommate. The cloudy plastic curves inwards, groping. Legs fold, sitting on the ground, artificial grit pressing into feet. i should do, read the dr bronner bottle, get up, something. Water creeps upwards, falling faster than the drain drains. Washed-out-blood-pink stains the porcelain edge. The surgical sanitizer? No, i’ve cleaned at least once in the last three years. Minerals, then, back east, did–another power blink, the water ratchets a notch colder, a centimeter higher, to the ankles. It grows pearly-dully-grey as i finally wash, like a wrung out sponge into the stained-steel pan. Two shampoos, until i feel the hair go dry. Tea-tree-tingle followed by peppermint-prickle, a reminder this is almost over. i switch the water off, grab the towel from beyond the curtain. Skin flakes with the friction, dry everything i can in the wet confines, then step out of the foot soak. The halogen illuminates veins at the wrist, Your claws tracing, Down The Street, Not Across The Road, the sickly-ocean-blue thrumming under several lays of scummed-up glass, a reminder, of everything. i put back on the dirty clothes and forget, again.

Chase Anderson is a gay animal person inside of your phone, which means he cares a lot about living things, the arts, and cybersecurity. He can be found sorting your recycling, posting cognitohazards in the group chat, and telling people about the many benefits of bollards, the best security control. If that hasn't scared you away and you want to read more of his work, you can find it at chasej.xyz